still a loser

Its been so long since I wrote.  I just went to my doctor and got put on anti depressants.  I feel hopeless.  I don't know how to fix it, change it or feel the slightest bit of relief.

What am I doing.  Where do I go from here and how.  I only have my two youngest in my life. 

I'm worthless to everyone else.  I'm not the person they would rather be with.  They all fuck with me and take me on an emotional rollercoaster.  I hate it all.

I want to move away and be alone.  I hurt alot in my heart.  My church has abandoned me.  Anna threw me to the garbage.  My chief threatened my job. 

I'm trying to just keep moving forward.  One day at a time.  I hope I will escape this fog that surrounds me.